WELCOME TO THE BLOG OF POPE JOHN THE TALL, LEADER OF THE ALL JOHN ALL THE TIME WORLD CHURCH

******PLEASE NOTE******

(Notice I said please.)

To those of you who are new to "the Pope" and the "AJATTWC", the following various posts are the official communications of yours truly, Pope John The Tall, or as I'm known in many circles, PJTT.

I aspired to the position of Pope of the AJATTWC several years ago, after the Roman Catholics elected Joseph Ratzinger, a German Cardinal, as their Pope; I figured if he could do it, so could I.

Despite what would seem to be a "religious" theme, I try not to play favorites: I'm satirical/irreverent about everything, in an attempt to give my readers a few yucks; that is the goal. If I haven't made you laugh, well, I tried, and I hope I'm given an "A" for the effort. (Or at least a really solid "C".)

I further hope that my faithful readers (all several of them) and any of you who wander in from the cold of the Internet, will derive much solace and spiritual awakening from my timeless prose, and, as I so often refer to it, the "soothing balm of Johnism"; if you don't, how sad for you, because I'm a pretty funny guy. (My daughter tells me, regularly, that I'm "silly"; I suspect that she's right.)

Please note that everything on my blog is meant to be fun, and in no way insulting to anyone, unless of course you're a politician, then you can assume I intended to insult you. (Hey, it goes with the job, guys; if you can't take the heat, then the harder they fall.)

Never mind.

Anyway, welcome and thanks for stopping by; please feel free to peruse to your heart's content (there is a large archive of my past posts, going back several hundred years, in the right-hand column), and please be sure to make a large donation at the door as you leave. (It's tax-deductible.)

Speaking of leaving, as I make my exit, and probably none too soon, here's something from the Book of Excretions, Apollo 13: Dodgers 6...

"Blessed are the lazy, for although they don't accomplish much, they're well rested."

Enjoy. (Or don't, it's still a free country. It is still a free country, isn't it? They haven't changed that as far as I know, have they?)





Friday, March 11, 2011

Try To Keep Occupied And Out Of Trouble, Please

!!! MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT !!! 
(not to be confused with General Alarm or Private Screening)

TO ALL THE LOYAL FOLLOWERS OF POPE JOHN THE TALL AND THE ALL JOHN ALL THE TIME WORLD CHURCH...

Hi.

(That's what you might call a modest beginning after that buildup.)

Anyway, please be advised that your Pope Guy is taking a few days off; I will be back with a new post on Monday, 3/14/11. (And if you don't log onto my blog on Monday to see my new post, I will send Ninjas from the Church to poop in your garden, and if you don't have a garden, then in your back yard, and if you don't have a...never mind.)

You see, when I started my blog back on January 18th, I had no idea how INCREDIBLY difficult it would be to write something clever and interesting every day (I figure I hit the "clever and interesting" qualifier a couple of times a week, give or take), so after almost two months of blatant silliness, I'm ready for a break.

But I'll tell you what, I won't leave you without some alternatives. Over the next few days, rather than wallow in the misery of being deprived of my breathless prose, here's some suggestions to keep your minds occupied (you're on your own for keeping your hands out of trouble):

-read (or reread) my earlier posts; there's a whole archive of craziness to the right (--->), and I'll bet you five dollars to a cold dog turd that you haven't read all of them (shit, I haven't even read all of them);

-drink copious quantities of beer;

-write me emails begging me to return sooner (just write your sniffling, pleading entreaties to me in any of the "Comments" boxes at the end of each post, and somehow, through the magic of the 'Net and all the little guys inside my computer, they will come to my Inbox; apropos of nothing, the Pope uses Hotmail as his email provider, and Hotmail has this automatic message that pops up when your Inbox is empty that says "Wow, you have a really clean inbox" which somehow sounds mildly indecent to me);

-drink copious quantities of beer;

-run a marathon; for those of you in less than "marathon-running" condition, drink copious quantities of beer;

-or instead of writing your pathetic, whining entreaties to me begging me to return early in the "Comments" boxes, here's my email address so you can send them direct (what a dipstick I am sometimes):
            popejohnthetall@hotmail.com

-drink copious quantities of beer;

-send me some ideas for future posts (I have to tell you, its REALLY HARD coming up with topics to write about every day; how about a little help, huh?)

-drink copious, oh, I suggested that one already, didn't I? Sorry.

Okay, that should keep you guys busy until the 14th.

Love and vacations,

PJTT

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