WELCOME TO THE BLOG OF POPE JOHN THE TALL, LEADER OF THE ALL JOHN ALL THE TIME WORLD CHURCH

******PLEASE NOTE******

(Notice I said please.)

To those of you who are new to "the Pope" and the "AJATTWC", the following various posts are the official communications of yours truly, Pope John The Tall, or as I'm known in many circles, PJTT.

I aspired to the position of Pope of the AJATTWC several years ago, after the Roman Catholics elected Joseph Ratzinger, a German Cardinal, as their Pope; I figured if he could do it, so could I.

Despite what would seem to be a "religious" theme, I try not to play favorites: I'm satirical/irreverent about everything, in an attempt to give my readers a few yucks; that is the goal. If I haven't made you laugh, well, I tried, and I hope I'm given an "A" for the effort. (Or at least a really solid "C".)

I further hope that my faithful readers (all several of them) and any of you who wander in from the cold of the Internet, will derive much solace and spiritual awakening from my timeless prose, and, as I so often refer to it, the "soothing balm of Johnism"; if you don't, how sad for you, because I'm a pretty funny guy. (My daughter tells me, regularly, that I'm "silly"; I suspect that she's right.)

Please note that everything on my blog is meant to be fun, and in no way insulting to anyone, unless of course you're a politician, then you can assume I intended to insult you. (Hey, it goes with the job, guys; if you can't take the heat, then the harder they fall.)

Never mind.

Anyway, welcome and thanks for stopping by; please feel free to peruse to your heart's content (there is a large archive of my past posts, going back several hundred years, in the right-hand column), and please be sure to make a large donation at the door as you leave. (It's tax-deductible.)

Speaking of leaving, as I make my exit, and probably none too soon, here's something from the Book of Excretions, Apollo 13: Dodgers 6...

"Blessed are the lazy, for although they don't accomplish much, they're well rested."

Enjoy. (Or don't, it's still a free country. It is still a free country, isn't it? They haven't changed that as far as I know, have they?)





Friday, July 1, 2011

Why Is It When You Need A Moron, All You Have In Stock Is An Oxymoron?

Couldn't have made this one up if I tried.

As today is the 1st of July, and a Friday, that would mean that the Fourth of July holiday starts, in my book, today. And, like a good little Pope, I was up really early this morning, got all my Pope duties done, and once I blow you guys off, I'm sorry, excuse me, once I finish this VERY short post, the Harley Dog and I are on "4th of July" mode as of the next 10 minutes after that.

Oh, and here's the link that explains the picture above.

http://www.yardbarker.com/soccer/articles/msn/russian_womens_soccer_team_to_play_in_bikinis_to_sell_tickets/5317984?GT1=39002

You know, it had to be Russian women; it couldn't have been Brazilian, or Italian, or even American, no, the first Bikini Soccer Team (I started to write "first WOMAN'S Bikini Soccer Team...and then I thought about it; duh) couldn't be from some country known for the pulchritude of their women, to say nothing of their ambergris, no, it had to come from Russia.

Okay, so how's this for an image you don't want in your head? Remember the female soldier that was supposed to accompany Bruce Willis on his quest for the "Fifth Element", you know, the one that visited him in his apartment with his ex-commander when they told him of the mission, remember her? About 6' 1', 200 pounds, with a shape like the Micheline Tire guy, a bad hairdo and a face that could knock a clock spang off the wall. ("Spang" is a Stephen King word; I hope he won't mind if I borrow it, 'cause it is a great word).

Okay, now think of this paragon of womanly beauty...in a bikini playing for the Russian Woman's Soccer Team.

Now imagine Rosie O'Donnell as a Hooter's waitress, complete with shorts and tight tee-shirt.

Now imagine I'm off until Tuesday.

I know there will be many of you who will need your fix of the "soothing balm of Johnism" over the next few days, and that's why your Pope, PJTT of the All John All the Time World Church, has generously provided you with archives of all my messages. (Stage right --->) Check'em out when you have a moment, or any time you feel the need for my words of peace and harmony. (My first guitar was a Harmony.)

Enjoy your holiday, and please be safe, and mostly, behave yourselves; I won't be available to take all the calls for bail money.

Love and fireworks,

PJTT

copyright 2011 Krissongs, Inc.
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