WELCOME TO THE BLOG OF POPE JOHN THE TALL, LEADER OF THE ALL JOHN ALL THE TIME WORLD CHURCH

******PLEASE NOTE******

(Notice I said please.)

To those of you who are new to "the Pope" and the "AJATTWC", the following various posts are the official communications of yours truly, Pope John The Tall, or as I'm known in many circles, PJTT.

I aspired to the position of Pope of the AJATTWC several years ago, after the Roman Catholics elected Joseph Ratzinger, a German Cardinal, as their Pope; I figured if he could do it, so could I.

Despite what would seem to be a "religious" theme, I try not to play favorites: I'm satirical/irreverent about everything, in an attempt to give my readers a few yucks; that is the goal. If I haven't made you laugh, well, I tried, and I hope I'm given an "A" for the effort. (Or at least a really solid "C".)

I further hope that my faithful readers (all several of them) and any of you who wander in from the cold of the Internet, will derive much solace and spiritual awakening from my timeless prose, and, as I so often refer to it, the "soothing balm of Johnism"; if you don't, how sad for you, because I'm a pretty funny guy. (My daughter tells me, regularly, that I'm "silly"; I suspect that she's right.)

Please note that everything on my blog is meant to be fun, and in no way insulting to anyone, unless of course you're a politician, then you can assume I intended to insult you. (Hey, it goes with the job, guys; if you can't take the heat, then the harder they fall.)

Never mind.

Anyway, welcome and thanks for stopping by; please feel free to peruse to your heart's content (there is a large archive of my past posts, going back several hundred years, in the right-hand column), and please be sure to make a large donation at the door as you leave. (It's tax-deductible.)

Speaking of leaving, as I make my exit, and probably none too soon, here's something from the Book of Excretions, Apollo 13: Dodgers 6...

"Blessed are the lazy, for although they don't accomplish much, they're well rested."

Enjoy. (Or don't, it's still a free country. It is still a free country, isn't it? They haven't changed that as far as I know, have they?)





Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sorry, No Pope Today (But As Long As You're Already Here...)

I have to apologize to all you loyal followers of His Popeness, John The Tall (and devastatingly handsome); you will have to do without your Pope Guy's message of the soothing balm of Johnism for today. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to get into the headquarters of the All John All The Time World Church this morning, and therefore was unable to write my (almost) daily post for all of you.

As you can see from the picture above (above), the infamous 405 Freeway was closed earlier today, due to not only the construction taking place currently, but the unfortunate accident that occurred between a large truck carrying a load of live sheep, which were them spilled out onto the pavement, and a small man lugging a wash basin full of hot water. The sheep were eventually rounded up, and order was restored to the West side of LA (pronounced LAH).

Now normally right here I would ask you to please check out the archives of my past essays on the soothing balm of Johnism, which of course you're still welcome to do, but today I'm going to suggest something else as well...(the Harley Dog barks in the background)...

...no, I'm NOT going to suggest anything like that, you canine pervo; geez.

Anyway, as long as you're already here, why not take a moment and either:
a) check out the video of the "Pope John Cheer" or;
b) look through the archives as I already suggested or;
c) here's an idea: why not scroll down the page and sign up to receive your Pope's messages as either an email or an RSS feed, so you never have to miss my deathless prose again.

Wow, what a deal, as much fun as you can have with your clothes on, yes?

Okay, go sign, go archive, go fish, whatever, and have a great day while you're doing it...

...because we might never see tomorrow, and I don't know about you guys, but if I woke in the morning dead, it would seriously piss me off.

And probably ruin my day as well.

Love and spam,

PJTT

copyright 2011 Krissongs, Inc.
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