That is a Porsche 914, one of the few automobiles in the
world with an air-cooled engine; that's right, sports fans, no radiator, no
coolant. I actually used to own one of these, a 1974; it was a great car. They only
produced this model for a few years, from '69 through '76. (Mine was white;
unlike the 914, I am not air-cooled, nor is my engine in the rear.)
I'm sitting here, deep in the throes of evening on a Sunday,
in the headquarters of the All John All The Time World Church, located here in
the benign but deeply confused San Fernando Valley, wondering what I should
write about; I've often read about authors (real ones) being tormented by
"writer's block" and never understood how exasperating it can be.
("Writer's block", I assume, is the equivalent of "athlete's
foot" to athletes or "fireman's carry" to...; never mind.)
Anyway, as is frequently the case with your Pope
(yes, I am Pope John The Tall, leader of the AJATTWC; how I came to hold such a
lofty position in life is explained above) (see above), I have no particular
theme for today's post, nor reason to write one, other than being afflicted
with the inability to keep my mouth shut. Or my thoughts to myself.
So for lack of a better subject, this will be another essay
on "This, That And The Other".
Rather than a treatise, say, on quantum mechanics, a subject
of which I know absolutely nothing; my knowledge of quantum mechanics is equal
to my understanding of women.
*** The legislature of the great state of Tennessee recently
passed a law making it legal for school-teachers to beat their students
profusely with a large stick any time they so choose; wait, that's incorrect,
that was the Mississippi legislature that passed that law. No, Tennessee made
it legal for teachers to challenge "the teaching of some scientific
subjects," including global warming, evolution, human cloning and gravity.
(One can only assume that Scientology and astrology are not targets for later legislation; and okay, I made up
the part about gravity.)
There are NUMEROUS comments I could make about the passage
of this law, but since I make a studious effort to avoid speaking of politics
here on my blog, I will refrain. I will say that the great state of Tennessee
is second to none in its respect and admiration for teachers everywhere, and
that the lawmakers of the State feel strongly about the American flag,
motherhood and apple pie, not in that order.
And I feel certain that, should I ever decide to run for
political office, the above comment would be completely apropos in all
instances I would be called upon to express an opinion or to articulate a stand
on some issue or another. (As a Christian, I am pleased that Intelligent Design
can now be taught, right alongside Darwin's theory of evolution, in Tennessee
schools; as a moderate, I'm terrified what some conservative right-wingnuts
will do with this opportunity.)
So much for refraining from "speaking of
politics".
*** Speaking of politicians with no discernible agenda (we
were?), I came across this gem in the third volume of the incredible series of
books on Presidential elections, "The Making Of The President 1968",
by one of the most erudite and influential political authors of all time, Mr.
Theodore H. White, who won a Pulitzer Prize for his first volume, "The
Making Of The President 1960". Mr. White, speaking of the candidacy of
George Romney, then governor of Michigan and father of the current presumptive
Republican Presidential nominee, "Mittens", quotes then governor of
Ohio, James Rhodes, as saying the following: "Watching George Romney run for
the Presidency is like watching a duck try to make love to a football",
proving unequivocally that history, indeed, does have the capacity to repeat
itself. (Why do I suspect that Governor Rhodes used slightly saltier language
when making this observation in private?)
*** Today is April 15th; do you know where your tax return
is?
*** Organizers of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London
recently contacted Bill Curbishley, manager of the rock band The Who, to inquire as to whether drummer Keith Moon would be interested, and available, to
perform in the opening ceremonies of the quadrennial sporting event.
Unfortunately, Mr. Moon died in 1978, making him both a)
deceased and, I would imagine, b) unavailable.
Mr. Moon is currently the drummer for the All Dead Band,
which features Jimi Hendrix on guitar, Jim Morrison as lead vocalist, fellow
Who member John Entwhistle on bass, Janis Joplin as back-up vocalist, both John
Lennon and George Harrison on rhythm guitars and Bob Marley as resident reggae
person.
To quote Homer Simpson: "D'uh."
*** If there is a more beautiful stadium in Major League
Baseball than Dodger Stadium, which celebrates it's 50th birthday this month,
well, actually, there isn't. Thank you, to Mr. Walter O'Malley and his family,
for bringing the team to Los Angeles all those years ago, and building this
incredible edifice to the greatest game in the world in the foothills of the
San Gabriel Mountains. He was truly, one of a kind, as is his stadium. (And you
can mark this date, 4/15/12, as the day I predicted that the '12 Dodgers will
make the playoffs this year. Book it.)
FYI, Dodger Stadium is the third oldest park in baseball,
with Fenway Park in Boston, home of the ridiculous "Green Monster"
left-field wall, in second place, and the granddaddy of them all, the oldest
stadium in the country and home of the most futile organization in the history
of modern sports, the Chicago Cubs, Wrigley Field in Chicago. (If you look up
the word "futile" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of the
Cubs.)
*** For those of you who do not understand the joys of
apartment living, the above is a picture of my garden, as viewed from my front
porch, all one of it. (There is, at once, to my mind anyway, something heroic
and yet very poignant about this picture.) FYI, I can happily report that,
since the picture was taken, several days ago, the "garden" is
growing well and amazingly fast. I should be up to my gunwales in tomatoes by
summer.
Apparently, tomato plants have no recognition of the theory
of gravity, much like the legislature of the State of Tennessee.
"Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on
the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They
will be yours for food.'" Genesis 1:29
He did not, however, clear up the controversy over whether
the tomato is a fruit or a vegetable; there is also some doubt about my older
brother, along the same lines.
Oh, and in looking up "gunwale" in my Webster's
New World Dictionary Of The American Language (not to be confused with
English), I found the following definition:
"A large marine creature with an AK-47 rifle growing
from its frontal lobe."
And just for the record, at least in MY dictionary,
"cleanliness" in NOT next to Godliness, it's next to
"cleanly".
Love and miscellany,
PJTT
copyright 2012 Krissongs, Inc.
