Never On Sunday (Except Its Saturday, At Least It Is Here In LAH)

Okay, I can explain.

Every Sunday I run the "Never On Sunday" post, with an update on whatever game I'm going to watch that day, and I take the day off.

Hey, I'm entitled.

I started very early this morning (Saturday, 6/18) to write my essay for today, but I got bogged down and then I had to leave to run some errands (no staff members from All John All The Time World Church are working on Saturday, so your Pope has to rough and do his own grocery shopping; I'll bet Strudel Boy over there in Rome doesn't have to haul it down to the local Krogeritello for a box of pasta and some yogurt. Geez.) and then when I got back I got busy with some other stuff and one thing led to another, as it always does, and now I have to leave again and I STILL don't have today's message of the soothing balm of Johnism ready.

So tell you what; I'm going to run my "Never On Sunday" post today, and then I'll finish today's post later and run it tomorrow.

Hows that sound?...well, tough, I'm doing it anyway.

Okay, "Never On Sunday (Saturday)" begins below.

Phew, that was a lotta' work.

No one is sure what motivated the Creator to suddenly get up one morning and decide, hey, I think I'll start creating the universe today, it's Monday, for once I'm all caught up, and darn it, I'd like to have my own universe, and since I'm the Creator, hey, I'm all over this one.

According to reports from various unreliable sources, such as all those Old Testament prophet guys, TC worked His butt off for the next six days, and after all that work, making planets, and animals, and mountains, and rivers, and platypuseses, and trees, and stars, and moons, and quasars, and quarks, and Miley, and just a whole lot of other stuff, after all that, TC decided that he needed a day off.

"I need a day off," He said to Himself.

(He hadn't gotten around to breathing life into the angels yet, that being the last thing on His list to do, so He was still talking to Himself at that point.)

Speculation amongst other spiritual Big Dudes, like myself, the Pope of the All John All The Time World Church, is that TC was lonely, and wanted some companionship. Me, personally, I would have told Him to create canines, find a likely-looking Golden Retriever to adopt and go from there. They're great companions, (ask the Harley Dog) and not NEAR as much work as women. He could have done the same thing for humans as well, if he would have known then what He knows now. (And FYI, men, unlike women, are NOT a lot of work; why would you work on something that can't be fixed? Man, thy name is hopeless.)

But NOOOooo, TC has to do the whole Adam and Eve thing, and now look where we are. Geez. (Oh, and by the way, "the Harley Dog" I referred to above is the "official" canine of the AJATTWC, my sidekick, roommate and best buddy, Harley.)

Anyway, the Creator decides He's had enough for one week, and thought that if he had forgotten to create something He needed for His universe, He could take care of it next week.

So on the "Sunday" of His "Creation Week", TC took the day off.

"You know, since I'm not working today, I think I'll hang out, do some burgers on the grill and watch the Dodgers embarrass themselves against the Astros." He went over to His workbench, breathed life into the angels He had stored there (hey, He didn't want to watch the game by Himself), and asked the first batch of new angels, "How's that sound? Hey, do you guys like this new "inter-league" play thing they're doing these days?", to which, of course, the newly-minted Seraphim and Cherubim had no answer, because they had just been created, and didn't know from baseball or inter-league play. Or burgers, for that matter.

So the Creator rested on what came to be called the Sabbath, watched the Dodgers annihilate the Astros, surprisingly, and got back to his job of the creation and ruling of His new universe on Monday.

And since the Creator took one day off each week, with pay, your Pope Dude is going to do the same thing.

I'm off today and I'm back tomorrow. (Actually, I'm not off any more today than I usually am, I'm just not working today.) Oh, and the Bored of Elders of the AJATTWC have agreed to pay me for today as well. (Hot damn, another $3.69.)

Try to muddle along as well as you can, oh ye faithful followers of the Pope, without the soothing balm of Johnism, for just this one day. Come on, you can do it.

Hey, how many of you are off on Sundays, huh? Yeah.

Love and triple time,

PJTT

copyright 2011 Krissongs, Inc.