WELCOME TO THE BLOG OF POPE JOHN THE TALL, LEADER OF THE ALL JOHN ALL THE TIME WORLD CHURCH


******PLEASE NOTE******

(Notice I said please.)

To those of you who are new to "the Pope" and the "AJATTWC", the following various posts are the official communications of yours truly, Pope John The Tall, or as I'm known in many circles, PJTT.

I aspired to the position of Pope of the AJATTWC several years ago, after the Roman Catholics elected Joseph Ratzinger, a German Cardinal, as their Pope; I figured if he could do it, so could I.

Despite what would seem to be a "religious" theme, I try not to play favorites: I'm satirical/irreverent about everything, in an attempt to give my readers a few yucks; that is the goal. If I haven't made you laugh, well, I tried, and I hope I'm given an "A" for the effort. (Or at least a really solid "C".)

I further hope that my faithful readers (all several of them) and any of you who wander in from the cold of the Internet, will derive much solace and spiritual awakening from my timeless prose, and, as I so often refer to it, the "soothing balm of Johnism"; if you don't, how sad for you, because I'm a pretty funny guy. (My daughter tells me, regularly, that I'm "silly"; I suspect that she's right.)

Please note that everything on my blog is meant to be fun, and in no way insulting to anyone, unless of course you're a politician, then you can assume I intended to insult you. (Hey, it goes with the job, guys; if you can't take the heat, then the harder they fall.)

Never mind.

Anyway, welcome and thanks for stopping by; please feel free to peruse to your heart's content (there is a large archive of my past posts, going back several hundred years, in the right-hand column), and please be sure to make a large donation at the door as you leave. (It's tax-deductible.)

Speaking of leaving, as I make my exit, and probably none too soon, here's something from the Book of Excretions, Apollo 13: Dodgers 6...

"Blessed are the lazy, for although they don't accomplish much, they're well rested."

Enjoy. (Or don't, it's still a free country. It is still a free country, isn't it? They haven't changed that as far as I know, have they?)





Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The NOBULLetin_March 2014


Above are some of the loyal followers of the Pope during a recent worship service in Lower Monsoon FL.

Your favorite Pope Guy (that would be yours truly, Pope John The Tall, spiritual leader and Head Baseball Fan of the All John All The Time World Church and if you're interested, there's an explanation above of how this abomination came to be), has given into the temptation of sloth (as I said in my post of 3/31/14, that would be the human condition, not the animal) and is now having to apologize to all my erstwhile devotees for not publishing the March edition of the AJATTWC'S NOBULLetin until now.

It's been a rough winter, believe me.

So without any further delay or ado, here is the AJATTWC NOBULLetin for last month; I'm sure you'll agree, it has suffered nothing in quality for being late in delivery.

~March 2014 NOBULLetin~

~Prayer Meeting Next Week~
            There will be a Prayer Meeting in the Church sanctuary next Wednesday night, 4/62, to ask the Almighty Spirit (that's the term used by the alien Klattu in the 1951 movie, "The Day The Earth Stood Still") to bestow upon the righteous followers of Johnism the same blessings he recently vouchsafed (how's that for a great word?) upon a Northern California couple, who, while out for an evening stroll, found 1,427 gold coins, mostly antique $20 gold pieces, buried in several old tin cans on their property. Experts are making conservative estimates of the value of the find to be somewhere in the area of $10 million.
            Given the strong "go between" status of your Popemeister with the AS, I believe it only right and fitting, should one of you fine members of the AJATTWC actually find a horde like this, that your Pope should receive a 20% cut, right off the top.

~Inspirational Quote Of The Month~
            This month's "Inspirational Quote Of The Month" is brought to you by Sister Helen Wheels...
            "You have to make sure you do the same thing every time, that's probably the key to consistency." Mike Dunleavy, Chicago Bulls forward, Chicago Tribune of 3/16/14
            Thank you, Sister Helen, for this inspiring message.

~Lecture By Dr. Bill O'Lading Next Month~
            The director of the AJATTWC-sponsored think tank, the Center For The Consideration Of Weighty Matters, Dr. Bill O'Lading, will give a lecture next month entitled "Cosmic Inflation-Evidence Of The 'Big Bang Theory' or Heathen Lies?"
            Dr. O'Lading's talk will feature a slide presentation and a question and answer period afterwards. Refreshments will be served after the Q&A session; please let Sister So Sue Mee know if you can bring something.

~Woman's Club Bake Sale~
            Once again, Sister Sue Pervise, President of the Woman's Club of the AJATTWC, the Woman For Johnism, announces that the Club will not hold a Bake Sale during the month of April. Although this announcement is probably unnecessary, there has never been an edition of the NOBULLetin that did not contain some reference to a Woman's Club Bake Sale, and your Pope Guy didn't see any reason to break with tradition with this month's.

~A Request From Your Pope~
            Your Popemeister (me) would like to take this opportunity to make a request of all you devoted followers of Johnism...even though I believe you're all doing your best in the area of donations to the AJATTWC, I would ask, with all humility, that each of you search your heart (and your bank account) and see if there isn't just a little more that each of you can do financially to assist the Church in it's mission to spread the soothing balm of Johnism. While I realize that, even though our economy is slowly regaining some momentum, times are still tough and a few extra dollars in the collection plate on Sunday is not in many of your budgets.
            However, those of you who are strict adherents to the teachings of the AJATTWC don't ever want to be thought of as falling behind other denominations, for example, the Roman Catholics, in your giving, and certainly, I would have to think that all of you would want your Popeamundo to be able to live in a style to which I would quickly like to become accustomed.
            As an exemplar of the manner in which the faithful of various other churches take care of their pastors, I would direct you to the link below.
            Come on, folks, let's all dig a deeper in the pockets and start supporting your Pope Guy the right way.
            Thanks.

~New Advertising Campaign For The AJATTWC~
            As a follow-up to the above whining for more donations, the Bored Of Elders is pleased to announce that, starting in May, the Church will kick-off a new ad campaign to raise awareness of it's message of the soothing balm of Johnism.
            The campaign will have the theme "Got Pope?", and will feature such luminaries as Amanda Bynes and Miley Cyrus as official spokespersons for the Church.

~Visiting Missionaries~
            Your Pope is pleased to announce that on Sunday, 4/33, we will be blessed with a visit from the Reverend B. L. Zebub and his assistant, Sister Lucy Fur, of the Church Of The Cleansing Fire (see their recent photo below); Reverend Zebub will give a presentation detailing his ongoing missionary work with various peoples all over the world.
            Please plan to come out that Sunday and give your soulful support to the good Reverend.

~Prayer Requests~
            ~Brother Will Power asks that prayers be said for his flock of pet myna birds, who have recently been afflicted with a curious disease that causes them to grow to human size and want to ride subways.

            ~Brother Victor Hugo asks that we remember his two nephews, Quasi and Modo, who are leaving next month for Paris to study writing at the famous Notre Dame de l'Institut de la Cathédrale de Bossus Français.

~Please Patronize Our Sponsors~
            Here is a partial list of the businesses that help pay for the NOBULLetin and your Pope Guy's exorbitant salary; please help them out by patronizing their establishments.
            Thanks.

~The Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, Attorneys At Law~
            "We're only in it for the dough"
            www.MyAttorneyCanWhipYourAttorney.aba

~Sam's S&M Dungeon and Pizza Parlor~
            "Tie me up and feed me pizza"
            227 N. Bondage Ave.
            555-867-5309

~Rose's Special Buds~
            Florist and Medical Marijuana Shop
            1356 Copabuzz Dr.
            555-456-1111
            Ms. Rose Bush, Proprietor

Love and church pews,

PJTT

copyright 2014 Krissongs Inc.

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