Above are some of the loyal followers of the Pope during a
recent worship service in Lower Monsoon FL.
Your favorite Pope Guy (that would be yours truly, Pope John
The Tall, spiritual leader and Head Baseball Fan of the All John All The Time
World Church and if you're interested, there's an explanation above of how this
abomination came to be), has given into the temptation of sloth (as I said in
my post of 3/31/14, that would be the human condition, not the animal) and is
now having to apologize to all my erstwhile devotees for not publishing the
March edition of the AJATTWC'S NOBULLetin until now.
It's been a rough winter, believe me.
So without any further delay or ado, here is the AJATTWC
NOBULLetin for last month; I'm sure you'll agree, it has suffered nothing in
quality for being late in delivery.
~March 2014
NOBULLetin~
~Prayer Meeting Next Week~
There will
be a Prayer Meeting in the Church sanctuary next Wednesday night, 4/62, to ask
the Almighty Spirit (that's the term used by the alien Klattu in the 1951
movie, "The Day The Earth Stood Still") to bestow upon the righteous
followers of Johnism the same blessings he recently vouchsafed (how's that for
a great word?) upon a Northern California couple, who, while out for an evening
stroll, found 1,427 gold coins, mostly antique $20 gold pieces, buried in
several old tin cans on their property. Experts are making conservative
estimates of the value of the find to be somewhere in the area of $10 million.
Given the
strong "go between" status of your Popemeister with the AS, I believe
it only right and fitting, should one of you fine members of the AJATTWC
actually find a horde like this, that your Pope should receive a 20% cut, right
off the top.
~Inspirational Quote Of The Month~
This month's
"Inspirational Quote Of The Month" is brought to you by Sister Helen
Wheels...
"You
have to make sure you do the same thing every time, that's probably the key to
consistency." Mike Dunleavy, Chicago Bulls forward, Chicago Tribune of
3/16/14
Thank you,
Sister Helen, for this inspiring message.
~Lecture By Dr. Bill O'Lading Next Month~
The
director of the AJATTWC-sponsored think tank, the Center For The Consideration
Of Weighty Matters, Dr. Bill O'Lading, will give a lecture next month entitled
"Cosmic Inflation-Evidence Of The 'Big Bang Theory' or Heathen Lies?"
Dr.
O'Lading's talk will feature a slide presentation and a question and answer
period afterwards. Refreshments will be served after the Q&A session;
please let Sister So Sue Mee know if you can bring something.
~Woman's Club Bake Sale~
Once again,
Sister Sue Pervise, President of the Woman's Club of the AJATTWC, the Woman For
Johnism, announces that the Club will not hold a Bake Sale during the month of
April. Although this announcement is probably unnecessary, there has never been
an edition of the NOBULLetin that did not contain some reference to a Woman's
Club Bake Sale, and your Pope Guy didn't see any reason to break with tradition
with this month's.
~A Request From Your Pope~
Your
Popemeister (me) would like to take this opportunity to make a request of all
you devoted followers of Johnism...even though I believe you're all doing your
best in the area of donations to the AJATTWC, I would ask, with all humility,
that each of you search your heart (and your bank account) and see if there
isn't just a little more that each of you can do financially to assist the
Church in it's mission to spread the soothing balm of Johnism. While I realize
that, even though our economy is slowly regaining some momentum, times are
still tough and a few extra dollars in the collection plate on Sunday is not in
many of your budgets.
However,
those of you who are strict adherents to the teachings of the AJATTWC don't
ever want to be thought of as falling behind other denominations, for example,
the Roman Catholics, in your giving, and certainly, I would have to think that
all of you would want your Popeamundo to be able to live in a style to which I
would quickly like to become accustomed.
As an
exemplar of the manner in which the faithful of various other churches take
care of their pastors, I would direct you to the link below.
Come on,
folks, let's all dig a deeper in the pockets and start supporting your Pope Guy
the right way.
Thanks.
~New Advertising Campaign For The AJATTWC~
As a
follow-up to the above whining for more donations, the Bored Of Elders is
pleased to announce that, starting in May, the Church will kick-off a new ad
campaign to raise awareness of it's message of the soothing balm of Johnism.
The
campaign will have the theme "Got Pope?", and will feature such
luminaries as Amanda Bynes and Miley Cyrus as official spokespersons for the
Church.
~Visiting Missionaries~
Your Pope
is pleased to announce that on Sunday, 4/33, we will be blessed with a visit
from the Reverend B. L. Zebub and his assistant, Sister Lucy Fur, of the Church
Of The Cleansing Fire (see their recent photo below); Reverend Zebub will give a presentation detailing his
ongoing missionary work with various peoples all over the world.
Please plan
to come out that Sunday and give your soulful support to the good Reverend.
~Prayer Requests~
~Brother
Will Power asks that prayers be said for his flock of pet myna birds, who have
recently been afflicted with a curious disease that causes them to grow to
human size and want to ride subways.
~Brother
Victor Hugo asks that we remember his two nephews, Quasi and Modo, who are
leaving next month for Paris to study writing at the famous Notre Dame de
l'Institut de la Cathédrale de Bossus Français.
~Please Patronize Our Sponsors~
Here is a
partial list of the businesses that help pay for the NOBULLetin and your Pope
Guy's exorbitant salary; please help them out by patronizing their
establishments.
Thanks.
~The Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, Attorneys At Law~
"We're
only in it for the dough"
www.MyAttorneyCanWhipYourAttorney.aba
~Sam's S&M Dungeon and Pizza Parlor~
"Tie
me up and feed me pizza"
227 N.
Bondage Ave.
555-867-5309
~Rose's Special Buds~
Florist and
Medical Marijuana Shop
1356
Copabuzz Dr.
555-456-1111
Ms. Rose
Bush, Proprietor
Love and church pews,
PJTT
copyright 2014 Krissongs Inc.
No comments:
Post a Comment