And as a follow-up to my post from 9/23, where I explained the recent trip that myself, Harley, Mike my consigliore and some of our staff from the All John All The Time World Church made to the planet Remulak, I wanted you all to know that we had also considered sending a message to the Old Ones of the Planet Mars as well (and thank you, Mr. Heinlein, so very, very much), asking them if they would allow us to make a missionary trip to their ancient and venerable world, similar to our visit to the home of Beldar and Prymatt Conehead on Remulak, and sent them the above photo.
We told the OO's that the young lady in the picture, the representative from Tanzania in this year's Miss Universe Pageant, shown in her "ethnic" costume, would be accompanying us and that she might be someone they would be interested in meeting, since as we all know, Mars is named after the Roman God of War, and Ms. Tanzania sure looks like a warrior to me, so to speak.
I'm thinking Ms. T either looks very ready to do battle with the forces of evil, or she's having an identity crisis that involves a rhinoceros.
But she's still way hot, even in that silly-looking get-up; nice job, you go, gurl.
We have yet to receive a response from the Martian authorities.
(ring...ring...ri)
"PJTT...hi, Mike, how was the golf game Saturday?...you shot an 83, wow, nice job...so what's up?...they did?...why?...are you kidding?...yeah, I know that's the name of my ship, that's not funny...well, screw'em then...THEY WHAT?!?...no, absolutely no way...no...no, under no circumstances is that going to happen, no...I don't care WHAT you tell the Bored Of Elders, no way...a LIFETIME subscription to "DDD Beauties"? no, still no way...no, but how's this, tell the BOE to throw in six cases of Thin Mints AND the subscription and they've got a deal...okay, lemme' know...yeah, okay...call me later."
That was my consigliore, the Left, err, Right Reverend Monsignor Michael Jordan, (no, not same one who used to live in Chicago); it seems the Martian Old Ones turned down our request, something to do with an unsavory reputation, and for the life of me I couldn't understand how Harley could have an "unsavory" reputation on Mars.
Then Mike explained further.
Seems like the OO's are okay with Ms. On The Horns Of A Dilemma, and they particularly wanted the HD to be there, and they were okay with all the support staff and what have you...
...but they preferred, according to their response, that we send Ms. T and the Harley Dog...
...only.
Shit.
I am deeply insulted, but I will step aside and allow my colleagues to make this important missionary trip to spread the message of the soothing balm of Johnism without me, for the good of the AJATTWC.
I am bloodied but unbowed.
Now if I can just figure a way to keep Harley out of my TM's; if he had opposable thumbs, they'd never be safe. I'll figure that one out later.
In the meantime, I wonder when my first issue will show up?
Love and battleaxes,
PJTT
copyright 2011 Krissongs, Inc.
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